EP 541 – Messing With The Monkey Mind With Kim Chiarello

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

 

A lot of us find ourselves doing multiple things at the same time and not having success in any of them. This is the point where we need to silence the monkey mind in order to focus and accomplish our goals. Kim Chiarello is a Spiritual Teacher and Intuitive Energy Healing Facilitator who utilizes her advanced intuitive abilities of to communicate with a client’s soul, in addition to incorporating advanced energy healing modalities. She has been providing Spiritual & Energy Healing Workshops, and private sessions for over 15 years. Today, Kim joins Scott Carson on the podcast as they discuss some of the ways for people to help themselves in manifesting success and their goals for a new year in business and in life.

Listen to the podcast here:

Messing With The Monkey Mind With Kim Chiarello

I’m jacked up and extremely excited for this episode. Many people out there, entrepreneurs, we come to the end of the year. It’s a mixture of happiness but also stressfulness. People are excited about the holidays, but they’re also stressed about finances or deals getting closed out or hitting their numbers. Many people reflect back on, “Where did the year go? Am I going to do the same thing next year? How do I make changes correctly to what I’m doing to help me succeed in the new year?” I’m excited to have a friend of mine that I met at the New Media Summit a while back. We’ve been exchanging emails, working on each other’s schedule and I’m so excited to have her on.

It’s an appropriate time because so many people struggle with the energy of where they’re at right now in this time of the year, all the seasons of the holidays and having to deal with in-laws and your family and fun stuff there. I’m honored to have her joining us on the show now. You are going to get a lot of us. It’s not our usual nuts and bolts show. I like to bring on the people that help with the mind game, help with where your thoughts are going. I’m excited to have Kim Chiarello join us. She’s a spiritual teacher and intuitive energy healing facilitator. Kim has been providing spiritual workshops through her energy healing facilitation for over fifteen years. She’s been a frequent speaker at metaphysical conferences and a frequent guest on popular podcast shows.

Kim’s passion is to teach people how to create their heart desires as well to help them identify and heal what’s blocking them from attaining it. Many people have mind blocks of whether things that they want to do, but they can’t seem to get over their mind block. She helps clients do things like find money in two weeks to of pay off debt that came due unexpectedly or sell property after being on the market for over a year. Getting executive corporate job or two years of job searching, to name a few of some of her success stories. We are honored to have the one, the only, the resident spiritual teacher bad-ass, Kim Chiarello join us. What’s going on, Kim?

It’s great to be here.

How’d you get into what you’re doing now? You’ve been doing it for a few years. We won’t tell exactly, but you’ve been doing it and helping a lot of people their mind blocks and blocks that they’re looking to get through for years. How do you get into something like that?

My story is hilarious one. I’ll tell you the short version. If you want more details, let me know. I used to be an engineer working on a payload on the NASA Space Shuttle many years ago. I had a Master’s in electrical engineering and the whole nine yards. I was an enginerd instead of an engineer. I was tacky and geeky and all of that fun stuff. I geeked out over tech and was working on cutting edge stuff. One day, I started to have some medical stuff. Long story short, they started with the easy things and kept progressing through specialist to specialist and this took months, as everyone knows.

It takes weeks to get on a specialist’s schedule and then weeks to get the results. Every time the results came back negative, I would cry and my doctor would say, “Why are you crying?” I’m like, “Because it means it’s something worse.” He did tell me I potentially had a brain tumor. That was a potential, but the last resort and, “Let’s test out other things first.” We kept getting closer and closer to that. The crazy thing is they finally ruled that out. My symptoms were getting worse and they had no other ideas, no other specialists, no other tests, no other anything to try. I said, “Now what?” The doctor said, “Go see the neurologist next year and if symptoms get worse, give us a call.” It was a wait and see game. At that time, I had this feeling like, “Yes, it’s not a brain tumor.” I feel there’s something, that I’m going to die before they figure this out.

At that time, I realized if I’m going to die, I better know what’s the purpose of life and why am I here and figure that out before I’m going to go. This is in my twenties. It’s pretty scary stuff. I started searching but I wasn’t finding anything that was giving me answers. I started dating a guy and it went bad. He’d been telling me about this spiritual teacher and how great she was and how I should go see her. Everyone knows the more you push, the more people push back. I was like, “No, thank you.” He ended the relationship via text which was a crappy thing to do. I got angry. It was the first time in life I stood up for myself after a breakup or for anything. Unfortunately, I started acting out. I got angry and that was not helpful.

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

Silencing The Monkey Mind: The more you push, the more people push back.

 

I decided to go to the teacher’s class with the idea of telling her she was insane because I was an engineer. If you can’t prove it, that’s that. I’m telling him that he misunderstood what she was teaching. It’s immature. It’s acting out and I don’t recommend it. The crazy thing is I went to the class. It was an all-day class and there was a class that weekend. Not only did I not leave the class early, I stayed for the whole day. I’m going like, “This makes sense. I will learn concepts like this in Corporate America, in leadership classes, in communication classes, in conflict resolution classes, but they’re using spiritual language.” I didn’t I walk out.

At the end of the class, she said, “Part two is coming up and there’s space in the class. Would you like to take it?” It was like a bubble. I heard myself going, “Yes, I’ll do the class.” The rest is history. Those classes taught me all the skills I needed to know to find my answers as to what is the purpose of life, what is the meaning of life and what’s my purpose in it. I believe so much in it that I teach them now. That’s what I teach as well as energy healing classes like Reiki and other things like that. I share what I know in private sessions as well.

You’re teaching people how to create the life their heart desires and how to help and heal what’s blocking them. I’m sure it’s different across the board here, but what are some of the most common mind blocks or things that are blocking people from finding success or happiness on what they’re doing?

There are many blocks out there. Most people are their own block. There’s a story that went around the internet years ago. I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s a great story that exemplifies what’s going on. The story goes that a hurricane is coming and they’re evacuating the neighborhood. People come by a truck to Joe’s house and they said, “Get in the truck. We’re evacuating the neighborhood and the hurricane’s coming.” Joe said, “No, God will save me. I’m staying.” The water starts rising. People come by in a boat and said, “Joe, get in the boat. The water’s rising. The hurricane is bad.” He said, “No, God will save me.” The water level keeps rising to the point where now it’s at the roof level. He’s standing on his roof and a helicopter comes by. “Joe, grab the rope. The water is rising. The hurricane is bad.” He’s like, “No, God will save me.”

He dies and he goes to heaven. He’s like, “God, why didn’t you save me?” God said, “I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter.” There are things in life to support you and you are not seeing it. It’s learning to be aware of those things. That’s why mindfulness is such a buzzword right now. Can you be present? Can you be aware of, “Here’s an opportunity that’s come into my life. Let me take it?” In thinking about your Halloween Episode and all the nightmares that you shared, there was some point in it where you went, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” You’ve had this feeling, but you discounted it and you went forward anyway and then you found out like, “This is not a good idea.”

We take for granted things or relationships that are sent our way. We distrust our gut when our gut is giving you the right answer that we go against a lot of times. There’s a lot of those, I don’t want to say six senses, but it’s the aspect of intuition kicks in. We know we should be doing things a little bit different like Thanksgiving. I know I should go back for the third plate of dressing. If I’m working on a diet, I’m going to pay for it, but I don’t feel so good and I feel sluggish. We have those internal conversations. A lot of times our mind blocks those things like, “I’ll get to that later. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to deal with that person because I don’t like that person.” Even though that person was put into our life for a reason of some sort.

It’s learning even with the simple things. A simple example is I was wanting to go to the food store and it was like, “I want to go to the food store on Sunday because Saturday is going to be great. I want to go out hiking.” I got this feeling like, “No, you need to go to the food store on Saturday.” I’m like, “No, I don’t want to go to the food store on Saturday.” I went hiking and then when I went to the food store on Sunday, got five of the main things I needed, they were out. That’s a minor example. There are times, and I’ve already mentioned one, where it was like, “I shouldn’t date this person,” and you go forward. They’re nice or they’re this or that. You double think yourself. It’s learning to be quiet as the Buddhists say the monkey mind and hear that intuition.

There is that saying that you mentioned, what does your gut feel? Your gut definitely gives you some information. That’s your lower self saying, “Have another hot fudge sundae. Have another helping of dressing,” or whatever when you know, “I’m going to be overstuffed and I’m not going to feel good.” Whereas we talked about how does it feel in your heart. The saying goes, “The heart is the seat of the soul.” No matter what your belief system is, whether if you want to say it’s the universe talking to you or God talking to you or your inner self, it doesn’t matter. How does that feel there? That’s the most important piece. There are lots of different exercises you can do to help yourself get centered and get present.

That’s what I’d like to get for our audiences across Note Nation or across the radio networks. I’m sure they are thinking that as well. A lot of us find ourselves trying to do multiple things and not having success in anything. We’re trying to do more than one. How can we silence the monkey brain? Monkeying Around with the Monkey Mind might be the title of this episode. The thing is we all run in different areas. This is the one thing that I talk with so many entrepreneurs and real estate investors. We see this happen time and time again.

It’s the whole squirrel syndrome chasing this squirrel. “I’m going to run over to do this thing. I’m going to be an expert in a variety of different topics.” We try to get people to focus on one thing. You’ll find a lot better success getting that done before you start something else. Most people want, “I want to be an expert in senior living, but I’m going to run over to the student housing. I’m going to run over to do fix and flips.” In the note business, they never get anywhere. They get frustrated because they’re not giving time or they’re letting their monkey brain run them all over the place versus silencing everything and figuring out that focus.

I also do some consulting with corporations on these types of things as well. If you’re going after everything, you’re not going to get anything done. A common theme that’s understood now in corporations is you need to focus in. I’ll let your audience go and look up the concept of context switching. That can help them. There’s a science about that of when you’re doing too many things, you’re switching your context and you lose a lot of overhead. It shows if you’re focusing on three things, it will take you three times as long to get all three things done versus if you focus on one, then the next and the next. You will get it done faster.

That’s not just your engineering mindset kicking in and telling that. Is that right?

There’s a lot of science out there. I incorporate science into my consulting combined with the spiritual when I’m consulting for corporations. There’s a lot of data out there. There’s a lot of talk about we need to not only prioritize because we could have three priority ones. I have to get all three done, but you can only work on one thing at a time. Let’s rank them. The way to think about it is if I’m to go out of business now, what do I need to get done that’s going to potentially bring me some income?

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

Silencing The Monkey Mind: Most people are their own block. There are things in life to support them, but they are not seeing it.

 

I love it because we talk about doing the most productive thing in any given moment. That’s what you’ve got to focus on. Having to-do lists, maybe having a big rocks list like you just said, then ranking those things to get the most important thing done at any given time.

Even Stephen Covey with The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, one of his habits is called First Things First. He gives a great example. It’s in a video somewhere where he has a bucket on a table. He’s presenting with a bunch of rocks and they’re all in shapes. You have to put the big rocks in first and then put the medium rocks in and then the small rocks in for everything to fit in the bucket. If you start with small things, and people like to start with a small things, where they say, “I can get this done in fifteen minutes. I can get this done in a couple of hours.” It feels good to check that off my list, but how important is that to you and how much is that getting you to your goals?

We’ve talked about that before on an episode focusing on the big rocks. It’s been a while since we’ve talked about it, so I’m glad you’re bringing it up. That’s such a big thing because so many people run around like a chicken with their head cut off trying to get multiple things done. I know a few people that I’m close with who struggle with this.

Me as well. I still struggle with it.

Everybody does at some point. 

The things I’ll share are simple to explain and simple to do. They are simple techniques, but it takes a while to master it. It takes that inner dedication to say, “No, I need to focus on this now.” Some things that can help you get that clarity is breathing exercises. There’s a lot of science behind it as well as spiritual stuff to it but the basic science is breathing is helping to bring oxygen to your brain so your brain can figure things out. These specific breathing exercises switch you from that primal brain, the reptilian brain, the fight or flight. When you’re in fight or flight, you cannot rationally or logically think. You are not in that frontal cortex. These breathing exercises help get you there. It’s probably why there are so many different spiritual paths focus on breathing.

It helps you center, taking that deep breath. It’s the same thing with working out. If you want to be a good Olympic builder and an athlete, the first thing you’ve got to get on your way is your breathing. You keep it in a flow because that way, you can act more controlled or you can act diligently versus stressing your system out. The fight or flight comes from a stressed out system. “I’m stressed out. I’m not going to make the right decision.” You’ve got to breathe, center and focus yourself before you can take aim and go from there.

There’s a lot of neuroscience on this that you folks can delve in with. Here’s a great breathing example, a great one to start with. It’s an intermediate level, but everyone can do it. It’s called box breathing where you inhale starting with a count of four, you hold it for a count of four, you exhale completely for a count of four and you hold it out for a count of four, hence the box. I don’t know if people are actively reading right now or want to try it. I can guide everyone through it. You want to say, “Can I go to a count of five for my box? Can I go to a count of six?” When you’re stressed, you can’t do longer counts. You’ll be able to do one part of the box longer and not the others. We’re trying to balance the breathing.

Is this something that they should be doing on a daily basis or hourly basis or as things pop up? What do you find works well for people with a box breathing?

Whenever you’re needing it. What I love about it is, one, it’s quick. Two, if you’re in a workplace, you can go to the bathroom and pee in the bathroom stall and practice this for even 30 seconds. It doesn’t have to take long. It’s not like, “We have to do this for half an hour,” or something like that. You can do it even while you’re driving. Keep your eyes open, please. You can do it while you’re doing something else if you’d like. It’s better to be sitting and focusing on it. You’ll get better results. That’s what I like about it. You can do it anywhere, anytime and it’s super quick. Starting off your day with it and ending your day with it is awesome. Starting your day and it will help you clear and rank your day. How many of us have our plan for the day? The first thing happens and that whole plan goes out the window.

We react to things. We come in and we get stuck into our email on something. There’s a fire we’ve got to put out and that puts our whole day behind. A great point there for people to accomplish more things is to make sure to start your day off centered. Have a plan that you want to focus on. Fit the small rocks like email and voicemail around the bigger rocks and you’re scheduled to be more productive and make things happen. Talking about people that are having more of the blocks, maybe they’re juggling two or three things, juggling a full-time career and full-time job. They’re wanting to do something on their spare time side, 10 to 15 hours a week or they’re struggling to find that focus of things. What are some of the things that you’re working with besides the breathing to help them identify their ideal life? Are there things that people can do right now to help them help identify and put in those first few paths to where they want to start living their dream life?

We all want to do it all. We have the work life, the family life, the social life. We have our vacations and it’s getting that clarity. There are two ways. One is with that kind of breathing, doing that for an extended period of time and two, stopping and asking the question, “What’s the most important thing for me to do in this coming year?” Getting and allowing that intuition to come through like, “I want it all. I’m feeling I should start with this. This person came into my life and they can help with that. It’s the perfect timing.” There are a lot of people who believe in creating the vision board. Everyone says they want everything, but a lot of times they’re saying what they don’t want.

“I don’t want a crappy boss like I have. I don’t want the awful long hours that I have in my job. I don’t want to have the toxic relationship I have with my parents, my sibling and my spouse.” You got to get clear on what you want and take time to write that down. Thinking about it, you’re not going to get as clear as if you’re writing down the specifics of, “What do I want in my life?” One of my colleagues had a client that was needing a car and couldn’t afford a car. She had two children. She’s a single mom and was needing a car to drive them to school and drive them to practice. We live in Colorado. There’s not great bus system so you need the car to get to buses. She focused on the car, not the money to get the car.

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

Silencing The Monkey Mind: The heart is the seat of the soul.

 

She focused on, “I need a car that’s safe because I’m driving my kids. I need a car that’s reliable because I’m driving my kids to school, to practice. I’ve never had a luxury car. That would be awesome. Why not?” The next day a friend of hers called and said, “My husband and I are being relocated internationally for my husband’s business for a year. Do you mind keeping our car so that it doesn’t sit idle?” and that can destroy a car. It was a Mercedes. “You need to keep gas in it and keep up with the oil changes.” She was like, “Great.” If she was focusing on getting the money to get the car, she would have never gotten the car. She would’ve never seen it. It would have been like that example of we sent in a boat, a truck and a helicopter to save Joe.

You want to focus on the object versus trying to get there. It’s the same thing with people saying, “I want to pay my credit card debt off.” That attracts credit card debt versus the fact that you need to go focus on, “I’m going to make more money to pay that off.” You’re attracting what you’re really focused on. 

You’re making me remember some clients of mine. They were husband and wife school teachers. As we know, school teachers are not well compensated. They had applied for some federal grant, federal loan for their home and got it. They got their first payment or two. All of a sudden, the government came back and said, “That was a mistake and you need to repay us in two weeks.” It was $10,000. They’re school teachers. Even if it was $1,000, they wouldn’t have been able to handle that. They had two little kids and they were working to make ends meet. It was getting clear on, “Here’s what I need. Can we get clear on how that can come into my life versus how it’s not going to come into my life?” I went through some of my spiritual process with them as well. Not only did that money come into their lives, they got $15,000 in two weeks.

They had decided if they’re going to try to create this money in their lives, they have some other bills they want to pay off so they went for it. They saw what they can do. They were able to pay off that loan and their extra bills. They were focusing on allowing it. Was it like some miracle? No, you can explain it. One of them had been doing some contract teaching work and the company was behind on paying them and all of a sudden paid them everything all at once. Family members out of the blue said to them, “I know you have two little kids and you’re struggling. I want to give you this amount of money.” It was out of the blue within those two weeks. It’s allowing that and not saying, “I don’t feel like I’ll have to pay you back.” They’re like, “No, you don’t have to.” Can you accept that into your life?

It’s opening up to receive those things because if people have a negative or a closed opinion of things, they’re not open to receiving, things will pass them by or things will never appear out of the blue.

We always talk about opening to receive in the spiritual world, but it’s also knowing that from neuroscience, which I’ve gotten into a lot lately. It is known that our brain has a negativity bias. The negativity bias is from caveman days where if you see something through the trees and you’re not sure what it is, you need to go to the reptilian brain and go fight or flight versus get curious and go like, “Let me go study that. Let me get closer.” We find out it’s a dinosaur and then you’re eaten. It is the body’s protective mechanism. If you are constantly focusing on what’s going wrong and what you don’t have and what you don’t want, not only are you not clear on what you want, you’re not going to see it when it comes to you. I want everyone to get clear on what they’re wanting and stating it in what you want versus a negative thing. Instead of saying, “I want to lose X amount of pounds,” it’s, “I want to be healthy. I want to be able to coach my kid’s Little League game and be physically fit enough to do that.”

Instead of saying, “I want to lose 30 pounds,” it’s, “I want to be more active. I want to start hiking more. I want to make it to the gym twice a week. That’s my goal.” It’s how you rephrase it, how your mind absorbs it.

I’m not sure about all of the deals you all do, but instead of saying, “I don’t want this deal to go bad,” it’s saying, “I want this deal to be successful. I want this deal to be timely. I want this deal to have a lot of ease and flow versus stress, struggles and delays.” Let’s say the positive words and get specific. I can give you examples, this is a funny one. I decided I wanted to manifest my next romantic partner. I make my list of everything and did my spiritual practice for that. The next day, I met this guy in a coffee shop. When I met him, I was like, “He’s great, but I’m not attracted to him.” I forgot on my list, I didn’t put that I was attracted to him. The universe gave me what I asked for.

That’s a critical, very specific point. “Blue eyes, tall, dark and handsome. I want to be wowed by him,” versus tall, dark and handsome, “Nice to meet you. I’m not that attracted.”

I put things like being financially stable, nice, funny and full of integrity. All of those pieces were there. At that time, I laughed and I’m like, “Let me go modify that. Let’s go through this process again.” You do want to take some time to reflect doing that breathing exercise. There are other ones that you can do as well to help you get centered and get clear. The good news is if you don’t list everything, you’ll see what’s coming to you in your life. You’re like, “I’m missing something. This isn’t quite right.”

That’s why we see a lot of people attract the same thing over and over again. They get in those ruts of negativity or they get in the ruts where it’s the Debbie Downer Syndromes that we see in life. The same thing is happening again and again because we’ve programmed it. That’s what we’re receiving versus, “No, I need to break the trend. I need to mess around with a monkey mind and physically almost NLP ourselves.” We had Matt Brauning on here a couple of episodes ago talking about reprogramming our computer brain to think differently and inactively and see different things. I was making a joke, “I have rose-colored glasses. They’ve got death-colored glasses.” I’m like, “Look at the positive and go that route.”

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

Silencing The Monkey Mind: Everyone says they want everything, but a lot of times they’re saying what they don’t want.

 

You’re bringing up so many good pieces I’d love to dive a little bit deeper in on. I’ll start with the rose-colored glasses first. I’m not saying that you should believe that the world is all rainbows and unicorns. There are a lot of people out there that misunderstand some of these teachings and we’ll do that. I’m not going to watch the news; I’m not going to talk to this person because I don’t like them. It brings us to the next thing about creating and bringing things into our lives is why. There’s something for us to learn there and we might have a false belief. If I’m watching the news and it’s depressing me, this is a mainstream corporate tool for problem-solving called the five whys.

You keep asking why. Why does this keep happening to me because of X? Why is X happening to me because of Y? Why is Y happening to me because of Z? I didn’t do that well for an example, but you do it five times and within the five times, you get to the core of, “I believe that I have to suffer. I don’t deserve to have things go smoothly. I don’t deserve to have this level of income.” It’s finding those false beliefs that you might have from some event that happened in childhood. You don’t have to find out exactly where it happened in childhood, although it will come to you and it’s like, “That’s silly. That’s not true.”

When you say, “I don’t deserve to be loved. I don’t deserve to be successful,” I almost start thinking of the old Saturday Night Live Stuart Smalley sketches. “I’m good enough, smart enough and people like me,” affirmations of saying to ourselves almost as a way to counter balance those things.

First, you have to find it. What is that false belief? Sometimes it’s simply finding it and going, “That’s ridiculous. I don’t believe that.” Having something else of like, “Why am I not deserving? Everyone is deserving,” something to that effect. Getting clear on those pieces, that’s the next level of bringing something into your life and creating something in your life. I’m not saying to put on rose-colored glasses and pretend like everything is fine because the problems don’t go away that way either. If something’s bothering you, now you’re avoiding it. You’re repressing and denying it and it’ll come out. You’ve seen people who explode because they were like, “I have to play nice.” A lot of women in Western culture are taught that. You’re the mom. You need to help the kids. You need to help your spouse. You need to work and you need to help everyone. You need to keep going and then all of a sudden, it’s like, “What about me? I haven’t been dealing with me.”

I love that because a lot of people do that. A lot will keep it interior versus expressing, communicating that with their spouse or loved ones or friends. The more you can communicate it and air out those feelings, the less likely you’re going to have an explosion. The less likely going to be stressed out, the less likely you make a bad decision. You’re not accessing the right parts of your brain because you’re in a stressful fight or flight syndrome. You’re all stressed out because you let it get that way. It builds and builds versus, “Let’s start breathing. Let’s start asking why I’m feeling this way,” as you’ve talked about. Let’s figure out what those things that we’re ignoring and reprogram what we’re trying to put out there in our daily basis so that we attract the right things versus attracting the wrong things. Hopefully, everybody is seeing those dots starting to connect. You’re doing a great job, Kim.

You’re making me think of another powerful exercise. It’s simple to explain and a lot of people discount it because it’s so simple. It is life changing. You’re talking about, “We don’t want to stuff whatever you were feeling.” Write it down. Why am I saying write it down? For a long time, I’m like, “I’m not going to write it down.” When you write it down, you’re getting the specifics and writing it down makes you think about more things of, “No, I’m not feeling angry. I’m feeling frustrated. I’m feeling irritated and I’m feeling impatient. What’s going on?” A great, powerful exercise is what is the opposite of that to me? For example, if I feel angry, for me, the opposite of angry is happiness. I identified that, awesome. I would go down my list of everything I said. I was feeling irritated. I’m feeling impatient, what’s the opposite?

Make that list. Once I have that list, here’s the exercise and I will call it a breathing exercise. To get a little on the spiritual side, what’s on the breath is the prana, the chi. It is our life force. We cannot live without breathing. It is an energy healing exercise. We all know, even physicists say, “Everything is energy.” We learn in school, molecules moving fast is a gas. When they’re moving slower, it’s a liquid. When they’re moving even more slowly, it’s a solid. Everything is moving. Everything has energy. I’m a former biomedical engineer as well. Our bodies are electrical, chemical beings. Energy currents go up and down our spine. That’s our nervous system sending messages so that our heart pumps and our muscles tense and our digestive system digests.

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

Silencing The Monkey Mind: We can’t make change in our life unless we’re taking action steps every day no matter how little they are.

 

All of us is energy. Doing this specific exercise that I’m going to share right now, you can call it a breathing exercise, but it’s helping you shift the energy. It’s helping you shift your brain, but it’s also helping you shift in your body physically. Once I say, “I’m feeling angry,” the opposite to me is happiness. I am going to get in a quiet place where I can close my eyes safely and not while I’m driving. I’m going to do relaxation breathing. That’s that deep, even, slow breathing you do when you first wake up in the morning or before you go to bed at night.

We’re not hyperventilating. We want to do some breathing and you want to focus on feeling like I’m breathing in happiness. I’m filling up my body from my toes to the top of my head, to my fingertips. I’m filling every cell of my body with happiness, breathing it in. For all of my techies out there, you’re breathing into your lungs. This is an exercise whether you want to feel it or visualize it, that you’re breathing into every cell of your body. I’m breathing in happiness. You keep doing that until you feel happy. The crazy and the wonderful thing is that sometimes it only takes 10 or 20 seconds.

Breathing in happiness and bringing in what I want to feel, the opposite of the negative that I’m feeling. I don’t want to feel angry; I want to feel happy that I’m not punching the guy in the face. Is that what we’re saying? I want to stab my partner in the throat because they’re driving me bonkers this holiday season, but I want to feel happy. We got a chance to meet Deepak Chopra. Even in Frozen 2, it talks about how the water flows through us and every bit of water we drink is flowing through 4 or 5 people before it has shown up to us. It falls in line with that. We are energy, we are a living, moving battery. It can adjust how our energy reacts positively or negatively with our circumstances and our environment by simply taking the time to counter back what you said, breathing in your spirituality, your energy and where you want to feel.

You’re being specific to whatever the feeling is opposite. Instead of stuffing, repressing, “It’s a family gathering, so I have to be nice. I just want to rant right now,” excuse yourself to the bathroom. Go take a walk outside or go get into a room by yourself where no one else is in. Figure out what the opposite is to you. If I’m feeling impatient with this person. Let’s focus on patience. If I’m feeling irritated, let’s focus on being calm. I’m going to breathe in calmness. There are so many stories on how quick and how powerful this is. I should give the money you example first. A client of mine was going to get a loan at a bank. They’re leaving her and going back to the back room and like, “No, we can’t do this.” She was like, “I want this.”

They’re going back again and she’s waiting. She’s realizing, “This is not turning out how I’d like.” They left her waiting. She’s focused on breathing in the energy of the abundance and breathing in ease. This is taking a long time. There’s a lot of back and forth. There’s no ease here and did a couple of those different ones. The next time the bank manager came back, it was like, “We couldn’t get the computers to do this, but we figured out how to do this manually. We can do everything you’re asking.” They’ve been over an hour back and forth of like, “Maybe we can do this piece, but we can’t. Now, here’s all we can do.” It shifted like that in 5 to 10 minutes.

That’s the thing of re-centering it. Sometimes we got to let nature find its own solution to things versus trying to force something a lot of times. A lot of people get stressed. I’ve seen people try to force it one way and it’s not going to work. The minute they give up on trying to force it, suddenly it just happens.

Like the saying goes, “It’s pushing the river upstream.” When you’re forcing it, you’re now saying, “This is what must happen,” and you’re getting angry about it. You’re getting demanding about it versus allowing yourself to receive.

We talk about manifesting a new thing. One of the biggest things is we talk about new goals and new things. Everybody is setting a New Year’s resolution. We’ve already discussed making sure you’re stating and focused on exactly what you want to accomplish, not the problems, because you’ll attract more problems at that point. Be very specific in your goals. We did an episode about smart goal settings. It falls in line with that, but also doing the little things to help you overcome the stressful situations and inviting success and happiness into you by simply sitting there. “I’m inviting happiness, calmness, success into my system,” and go on that route. I’d love to do some more of that stuff.

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey Mind

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

Everyone who hears this, even people who come to my spiritual classes think, “That’s nice. I’ll try it sometime.” It’s like, “Do not underestimate the power of this to shift things on a dime.” I have multiple stories of people at work, taking a bathroom break and shifting things from the boss being mad at them to the boss thinking they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. Examples of a client whose college-age daughter had been struggling with depression for years and even suicidal tendencies. Learning this technique, they made a list together of, “Here’s how I feel. What’s the opposite? This is what you focus on every time you start into that downward spiral.” Not only did it shift for her immediately, but over the course of the years, she had less episodes.

She was able to catch herself faster to the point where she had no more episodes and didn’t need medication anymore. This was only in a course of 2 or 3 years. It shifted. Let alone with it shifting that day, it’s being able to function and get out of bed, those types of things. It’s super powerful of taking the time to write down what I’m feeling to find out the opposite versus sometimes you jump, “That deal fell through and now I feel poor, so I’m going to focus on abundance, on wealth, on success.” Get specific on what you are needing right then because all of those words are helpful, but you want to do one at a time and do some of that. It can take only 10 or 20 seconds. If it’s something that that family member has been irritating you for decades, you might need more like 10, 15, 30 minutes.

We’ve all got those people. Kim, what’s the best way for people to follow up and connect with you to find out more information and talk with you about some of the coaching and things that you’re doing to help people and entrepreneurs all across the country change their lives? What the best way for people to reach out to you? Do you have anything that’s going on or upcoming that you’d like to share with our audiences?

The best way is through my website, which is BeTheChangeNow.com from Gandhi’s quote. We can’t make change in our life unless we’re taking action steps every day no matter how little they are. On the site, you can definitely schedule to have a free complimentary twenty-minute discovery session with me. We can go over any questions you might have and get a game plan together for what you might like to do in your life. We can go forward from there.

Thank you so much. Guys and gals who are reading and struggling with anything, do yourself a favor. Reach out to Kim at BeTheChangeNow.com. Take her up on it. If you’ve enjoyed this like I have, trust me, get another 20 to 30 minutes. Focus solely on where you’re at, what struggles you’re dealing with and Kim is an awesome person who helps so many people. That’s why we have her on here. She’s been a great guest on other people’s podcasts and I’m friends with them. We’re honored to have you on here now, Kim. We’re going to continue the conversation at a later date on another episode. 

That would be fun. I had a blast. Thank you so much, Scott. Yes, there are so many things we can talk about and we can delve into more of these pieces as well.

We’re glad to have you. It’s been a pleasure and definitely an awesome time. I’m taking some things that I’m applying immediately as well too. Guys and girls, as we always say, opportunities surround you all the time. It’s up to you whether you want to reach out and grab a hold of it. Do yourself a favor, reach out to Kim and take her up on an easy free session for you. If you can do anything in the New Year, don’t make hindsight 2020. Make 2020 foresight this year towards success by taking actions now and going out and being the best that you can be. Go out and take some action. We look forward to seeing you on the top.

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About Kim Chiarello

NCS 541 | Silencing The Monkey MindKim has been providing Spiritual Workshops & Intuitive Energy Healing Facilitation private sessions for over 15 years. She has been frequent speaker at Metaphysical Conferences; and a frequent guest on popular podcast shows.

Kim’s passion is to teach people how create the life their heart desires, as well as to help them identify & heal what’s blocking them from attaining it.

She’s helped clients do things like find money in 2 weeks to pay off debt that came due unexpectedly; sell property after being on the market for over a year; get an executive corporate job after 2 years of job searching, to name a few.

For more information, all are welcome to schedule a complimentary 20-minute exploratory session at www.BeTheChangeNow.com


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