Listen to the podcast here:
Unbecoming As An Entrepreneur with Phoebe Mroczek
I’m excited because we’ve got a special guest. You are going to get a lot of content and a lot of great nuggets out of it. We’re excited to have a special friend of mine, another fellow podcaster who is doing some amazing things. We’ve got a little bit of peanut butter and jealous with some things that she has done up there. We’ve got the host of The Unbecoming with Phoebe Mroczek. Welcome to the show, Phoebe. How’s it going?
Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here. I’m great.
Can you share about some of your big plans which I love?
It’s not been a very long planning process. I’m a quick decision-maker. Once I make a decision, I take action fast. I made the decision to leave San Francisco, which to most people is a little bit surprising. This is the longest place that I’ve ever lived outside of my childhood home, which is only three years. For most people, that’s scary. For me, I decided San Francisco, like that season of my life is complete. It feels amazing to let it go. When I was looking at where to go, did I want to go back overseas or did I want to stay in the US? Austin, Texas has been calling me for a little while. That’s where you and I met. You hopefully have a nice piece in your heart just as it does mine. I am moving home to help my sister with the new baby, which is exciting. I get to see them on the holidays and then actually move to Austin in January.
For those in our audience, they’re probably wondering who is Phoebe? What power does she have? You have an amazing podcast called The Unbecoming and it’s phenomenal to listen to. I love the conversations. Share a little about why people need to be listening to you. Why is it exciting to have you on the show?
It’s exciting to have me on the show because it’s a little taste of something different. I went through a period where I got bored. I’ve been in the online course creation, coaches consulting space for a couple of years and I found that everybody is saying the exact same thing. It’s regurgitated nonsense and it does work. There are the templates and the blueprints, and I get it and those are helpful for a lot of people, but I didn’t find them helpful for me. I was like, “I want to have a different conversation about that person behind the business.” We as coaches and as marketers or as business owners, we have to market ourselves in a way that feels authentic and genuine to who we are. We’ve all had situations where we either get into some BS course or we hire them and all of a sudden it’s like, “That’s not what I expected.”
There’s a lot of the regurgitation, saying the same old thing. It’s boring. One of the things that I love with what you’re doing is you’re not afraid to dive in and ask questions. I know you do a lot of coaching with entrepreneurs to find out what makes them tick and what makes them, their unique flavor and their unique spice. Using that to help them launch what they’re doing or help them expand on what they do.
I want to talk about your unique voice and your unique story and message and all that, but when I was going through that process I was like, “How do I find that? What is it?” What I discovered is unique to me, I didn’t even realize that it was a thing. I didn’t realize that it was a gift. I get a lot of praise in my podcast as I know from watching a lot of your stuff too. I know you can relate to this and I’m sure you’ve heard it several times is that you’re real. I’m like, “Is that not a thing? Do we just not be honest?” I don’t know and I didn’t realize that. The conversations I’m having are with people that a lot of people might not know. It’s not the same speaker circuit that everyone seems to be on. It’s the one blanket statement about, “This is what everyone’s doing or this is the only way.” I look for those words and I’m like, “It’s not the only way. If it wasn’t the only way, what is another way to do it?” I’m constantly looking to evolve my business, my brand and my clients’ brands in a way that feels fun and adventurous. Adventure is such a huge piece of who I am. How do I communicate that in a way that attracts the right people that want to have a blast in business doing what they love to do with people that are amazing and making a difference in the world?
A lot of people fall into they’re not as imaginative as they give themselves credit for or they don’t think outside the box. They get in a habit of repeating what they see done or what culture they read or watch or listen to and doing the same thing. One of the big things in the podcast is the Gary Vee effect. Everybody wants to be, “I’m going to drop F-bombs all the time or I’m going to be hard. I’m going to show that I’m hustling.” If you have time to show that you’re hustling, you’re really not hustling.
I fell into that and I talked about it on my show. My first website was so far from who I was. My tagline and my header was like, “Marketing made sexy,” and it was a boss-type thing. It was that tone and everything was written in that tone. That’s cool if that’s who you are, but that’s just not me. I had one interaction with a woman at a conference a couple of years ago and she was like, “You are Phoebe?” I was like, “Yes.” She was like, “You’re nothing like I expected.” That changed everything. If our online presence is our résumé, that is how we show up. That’s our legacy. How am I representing myself? I felt terrible. I completely 180 switched to trying to figure out who that was. Your flavor is a lot different than somebody else’s. Your show might resonate with somebody and might totally repel somebody else. A lot of my clients, we’re not meant to be mass market. We’re meant to be specific. That’s a huge ego shift to make in your business. If you are mass market, then are you diluting your brand, your personality. What are you diluting to be mass market? I don’t believe anybody is mass market, even the Tony Robbins of the worlds.
Everybody has their own flavor. The sooner you can find that you’re vanilla and not chocolate swirl, that’s the aspect of things out there. What are some of the ways that you like to work with entrepreneurs to help them to get out of that shell or get out of that vanilla flavoring that we like to throw on ourselves a lot?
I host masterminds. I have some exciting events that are coming up. It’s a hot topic now to do events and retreats. I feel everybody is going this way and I’m trying to go in a different direction. I love working with people one-on-one. I know everyone’s looking to scale with courses and I’ve done that. For me, it’s fun. There’s definitely a place for it. A lot of my clients are course creators. Personally, I want to get in there and get people to almost pry open a little bit more of whom it is that I’m working with. Group settings but all small, tailored, very customized and one-on-one.
A lot of people as they go to bigger events, they lose themselves in the numbers. They have the ability to hide a little more in bigger events versus in smaller ones, it’s hard. We had a Fast Track Training here in Austin where we had seven people. It’s hard to hide behind when you’ve got three days and you’re one-on-one. What are the mind games that you’re playing yourselves? What are you lying to yourself about? Let’s work through that and help you overcome some obstacles.
I went to an event, there were thousands of people. You spend $200, but at the end of the day what matters is the action that you take after it and the accountability factor. In your event with the seven people, you can’t hide. You have to show up and do the work.
You like to dive in a little bit deeper, a little bit more intimate with people on a smaller case basis to help them overcome. What are some of the better ways to help pull themselves out of their own shadows?
The first step is to be in a safe space. I have this five-step thing that I use all the time to help my clients. It’s all A’s. The first one is to audit. Where are you in your life? What do you want? That’s the question that many people get caught up on. I don’t know but you do know what you want. You can often tell me what you don’t want. If I look at your life and your business, often we separate those two. “I want this in my life and I want this in my business.” My belief is that we build our businesses as extensions of ourselves. If we’re not working, our business can’t work. The parallels we can’t see when it’s in our business. We’re too close to it and we don’t want to acknowledge it.
A lot of times it’s, “I’m having a conflict with my business partner.” I’m like, “Tell me about your marriage. Let’s find out where this pattern started. Where did this belief come from that you can’t have a successful partnership?” There are many different layers to it and it’s acknowledging it. It’s talking in a safe place where you feel accepted and heard and valued. Going to somebody who gets you, who you look up to for one reason or another and you don’t put on a pedestal. That’s another mistake a lot of people make as we put podcasters and speakers on pedestals. They are on a stage for a reason, but it’s those speakers that speak down to you that for me never have resonated. I want to get up close in person. I go as deep as we can go and be willing to keep digging until we find the answer.
Sometimes you get speakers that are talking at you versus with you. If we want somebody to talk at us, we usually go online to find the basher, but then they talk to you. Take your time to ask the questions and identify the things that are resonating with the audience that have so much more impact. What’s the second thing? The audit is number one. What’s the second A?
The second one is called align. Alignment is my favorite piece. This is what your story is. I always say, “Your past doesn’t dictate your future, but the patterns of your past can show you the world.” They can show you everything. It lights it up. It becomes clear. What the alignment piece is where does your story intersect with your desired customer, your ideal customer? Where do those paths cross? How can you create the story? It’s writing the right story. We each have a bunch of different stories that we could tell. We had the little pieces of our story that appealed to different crowds. When you’ve pulled out what we call the red thread, it’s the thread running through your life. Mine’s a lot of adventure and figuring it out and being uncertain. How do you make that work and thriving in change? I deal a lot with identity and that’s probably one of my biggest passions is talking to people about their identity. What makes up an identity? What is that? That intersecting with your audience and where do those align? It’s the most important part and I feel where many people get it wrong.
What’s the number three A?
Number three is affirm. Now that you’ve audited your life, now that you’ve aligned where you are and where your audience is, then what is your one core statement? What is the one phrase that helps somebody refer someone else to you? It’s the referable phase. It’s basically you giving somebody the language to understand and connect with you. It’s a polarizing statement and it’s a tangible statement. For example, if you believe the only way to build a six-figure business is through masterminds, then that’s great. I can argue with that but if I argue with that, I’m also going to stick around to figure out why you believe that’s your core premise, your core statement. If you look at any big brands, any big names that you know. If you listen to a couple of their videos, you automatically know what their core premise is because they allude back to it all the time in their videos, in their blogs, in their Instagram Stories. The best ones do it. The third step is to affirm.
What’s number four?
Number four is act. That’s always harder for a lot of people. This is why coaches, mastermind groups, and small groups like you were having with the seven people. You can’t hide in those groups and it forces you to take action. Where I see many people are either coming to me is because they’ve acted before they’ve gotten in alignment. They haven’t done the work before they’ve gotten to me, so they’ve told all these stories and it’s jumbled and diluted. The action doesn’t match the alignment. If we have the alignment piece in place and you feel comfortable and excited about who you are and what you’re here to do, then the action piece gets super easy. In my area, I was known as the funnels person. This is a great way for me to couple the two. I don’t want to be known as the funnels person, but that’s what a lot of my experience is based in, refining funnels. For me, all I believe that a funnel is basically from start to purchase and everything in between that. The second part of the funnel is the delivery and the execution of it. In the action it’s consistency, providing value, being in alignment and acting from that place of alignment.
What’s number five?
Number five is amplified. That is basically to look at what you’re doing that’s working and do more of that. How do you amplify? There are a number of different ways to do it. If you have a Facebook ad campaign, that’s putting more money into the campaigns that are working into the assets that are working. If you’re doing stuff on Instagram, maybe you’re putting some money behind it. A lot of the amplification process everyone thinks is the one thing that everyone should be doing, “I should be on stage or I should be podcasting.” The amplification part can be getting on 45 podcasts or it could be on getting three strategic ones. Being super strategic about the way that you amplify your message, your brand is going to have a huge impact on the way that your brand is viewed in the world and the impact that you’re going to have.
If you’re going to amplify, you have to know where you’re interconnecting with those clients at and where they’re at. If they’re not on Instagram, don’t spend money on Instagram. Not listening to what other people are doing but identify where your audience is at. Social media is great, but it’s not meant to replace conversations. It all leads to having a one-on-one conversation with your ideal client or supposed to be it can help you filter the people out there to find those that are serious. It’s all about reaching out to your audience.
Look at your show for example. Your people are on Facebook. They want to see you and you’re great on camera. You’re great in person. A lot of the complaints that I hear or the struggles of my audience are, “I hate sales. I’m terrible at selling.” My response to them is, “What if we took out sales and replaced conversation?” That’s all it is. It’s like, “Are you a fit? Am I a fit for you? It’s an interview process and if this is going to work, awesome. If it’s not, I am the captain of referrals.” I love referring people to my friends and other people that I value. I value fun, ease and adventure. If I am not going to have fun with somebody, then what’s the point? I’ve done that before and it sucks and I’m sure you have too and you’re like, “What am I doing? Why did I take this person on?” We can be selective and we should be selective because we miss out on many other people where we had these energy vampires and these people that take up a lot of space in our business. Whether that’s mental space or inbox space or whatever it is. If we could clear out the clutter, get down, help and focus on the people who desperately want to be helped by us and to be in conversation with us, it would totally transform all of our businesses. I struggle with it too.
Everybody does because sometimes we want the clients on, but the sooner we can get rid of the Debbie Downers, the better. I’ve had that. I always joke around when I talk to people especially through our mastermind and training. The sooner you know you’re not everybody’s cup of tea, you are mint chocolate chip, the better off it is so that you’re not wasting your time and being more effective in what you’re doing. Delivering better because you know your audience, you know exactly what makes them tick. You know what the hot buttons are. You know what issues they’re dealing with on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly or annual basis. It makes you that much more effective to have better conversations to help them overcome their hurdles.
If you think about the people that you follow on social media, this has been a great exercise for me. I love Instagram. When I scroll through my Instagram, if there’s somebody on there that doesn’t completely light me up when I see it, I unfollow. What that’s done is it’s helped me see threads and patterns. I’m a patterns person. It’s like, “Why am I following this person?” When I started to look at it, I was like, “Why I love these people is because they’re real and they’re honest about the things that aren’t always rainbows and roses. Sometimes it sucks and sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed.” That’s real life. That’s why people resonate with what you’re saying because it’s not unique. My friend said, “It’s not the unique message, it’s the messenger.” It’s like why do we struggle so much trying to create this crazy, unique message when we’re unique in the way that we say it anyway? You and I could both say two different things and someone’s going to hear two completely different things, or we could say the same thing and someone will hear two completely different things. We don’t embrace it enough.
Let’s talk about another A, a few of your adventures. That’s the one big thing I was like, “You’ve been all over the place.” Why don’t we talk a little about your adventures? Anytime you can be adventurous, it helps you not be so scared of failure in overcoming things. You’ve traveled to three or four countries?
I’ve traveled to 63 countries. To be honest, it’s always been something that I’ve been passionate about seeing other things. I studied abroad in college and that’s where it hit me. I’ve lived in this sheltered place and I haven’t been out to see the world. That’s always been a commitment for me. I’m a person who likes to figure it out. I’m a problem solver. For me, when I’ve lived in other countries, I won’t leave unless I have a ten-day itinerary for somebody to take based on my city. Anyone could give you a two, three-day, four-day, seven-day even to look it up online but to really know a place, you have to know it ten days’ worth. I have gone on crazy adventures to push myself out of my comfort zone. I’m sure there are a million other things that I haven’t done and that’s exciting to me and I can’t wait to do it. I was actively seeking that out. That was a real commitment of mine for all of my twenties pretty much. Now I get to pick and choose different adventures. Tell me about some crazy adventure that you have either been on or dying to go on.
I like traveling abroad too. We took a three-week trip to Europe. We had a seven-day Disney Cruise in the middle. Steph will be happy to say that I enjoyed it because I love Disney Cruises. I’m not a big fan of the parks, but I’ll jump on a Disney boat any time. A week beforehand and a week and a half afterward, somebody came up here as well. We got a fourteen-day cruise, that’s a seven-day Transatlantic and then a seven-day Spanish cruise around Lisbon, Portugal. We’ll hit seven days afterward or for the most part as Steph’s trying to get me to be gone for a full month. That’s going to be a fun thing.
I always look at my business each year quite a bit and see where we’re at as we’re coming to the end of 2018. Figuring out what we’ll be doing in 2019. That’s always another adventure. What are we tweaking? What are we adding? What are we taking away? One thing that I avow to do is take away so much business travel for more fun travel. I had Joe and Matt on. They were talking about how they’re going to a three-day workweek. Devi says she’s going to a four-day work week. My goal is to help me outsource more and take my foot off the gas. Let somebody else put it on for a little while.
That’s the thing is you get to help somebody else who’s dying to do the things that you don’t like to do. Outsourcing was a huge focus of mine a couple of years ago and was thinking about, “What would that look like? What are the things that I love to do?” For me, I love to write. I love to speak. I love to travel. I love to connect with people. If I could do those four things, everything outside of that, I don’t need to be posting to my social media. Let someone else do that. Let someone else brand me based on my direction. I don’t work on Fridays. I pride myself on how little I work. It doesn’t feel like work but I’m thinking about my business constantly. I love it because it’s fun for me to come up with ideas as I’m sure it is with you too. The thought of going to a three or four-day workweek for some people is scary, it’s terrifying. It’s a little more stuff on the front-end to get what you want, which is exciting. You get to have a more fulfilling life and that we underestimate. I’m a big proponent of play. We underestimate how much play we need and our life as humans. I was having a great conversation with one of my friends and I was like, “I want to prove to people that the more you play, the better and bigger your business will grow,” because they’re correlated I believe.
You were talking about doing a little more domestic travel than international travel. Where’s home? Are you going to spend the holidays with the family yet?
Going from San Francisco to the swamp and then moving from DC to Austin. What’s after that? Are you hanging out here for a while? Are you going to use this as a central part of the country to fly to different places or what?
I’m a spontaneous person, which drives everyone around me crazy. To be honest and I mentioned this at New Media Summit because I was in a conversation about maybe was I going to be doing a huge road trip, which is still in the works and I’m still trying to work it out. One of the things that I’ve realized is how many events that I go to that are in one specific location and I see a huge potential. A lot of my audience is in the US and Canada so it’s easy to come here, which is why I came back a few years ago. I’m like, “I want to go out and meet people face-to-face like old times and I have nothing but time. I have lots of time and I love to travel.” My plan for probably the summer is to get out of Austin heat is to go on a road trip. I’m going to choose three or four locations and get to know some people. Have them either come on the show or I’ll be announcing it throughout the first couple of months of the year. I’m getting those wheels in motion. I haven’t talked about it that much, but it’s something I’m super excited about. I know it’s going to be a blast. I know people want more in-person interaction. They want to get out and touch you and see that you’re real. I want that thing too. I’m going to make it happen. I’m excited about it.
Back in 2010, I sold everything I owned except the dog. Princess and I traveled for 30 weeks. The thing is it turned into a few years of basically nonstop travel, bouncing around from house to house, place to place. It was a great chance to network. We traveled a lot of the same places for work or conferences. It’s been such a rush to fly in and fly back out to get home. Taking some time afterward either doing live shows, live broadcasts in front of a studio audience or a networking event to catch up with people is fulfilling and it’s easier. It is pretty easily done.
Have you done live recordings with a studio audience?
I have not yet. We were supposed to have one and unfortunately, the staff for one of my sponsors was sick. That’s one thing because we’re going to be going to the Traffic & Conversion Summit in San Diego. We’re going to open up because we’ve got a big note audience down there. We’re going to live stream record. I’ve done some things for other events. I’ve spoken at a real estate club, which is live streamed to Facebook Live or via Zoom. We’re going to do more of that. It’s going to be a great way to get people out. People love having their face on camera asking questions, being involved. It’s the little things where they get a shirt or a sticker or something to help. In our neck of the woods, it goes a long way for a couple of reasons. One, it helps us raise capital for our projects, the deals that we’re working. Two, it draws people on our educational side of what we’re doing. Three, it also leaves a big referral base. When I first did these years ago, which was going out and knocking on bank doors, it led to an explosion in our business because we were out meeting the people that we’re buying deals from. I’m a big believer in the finance side of the market. We’re going to see more of it downturn and see things start to go south. It might be time to fire up the jets to go and start knocking on some bank doors again out there.
I’m dying to do live shows. One of my good friends is listening to my show and I was doing interviews. I would get nervous with interviews. The first couple I was in my head. I want to make sure I’m asking the right questions that I couldn’t be present. I don’t know if you’ve gotten that, but it’s been such an interesting process. In the beginning, he listened to it and I asked for feedback. He was like, “I would much rather you do this face-to-face live, even if it’s recorded live and then your editor has it. You change. You have that interviewee’s voice. It’s not as natural.” I realized better preparation helped me to not be nervous and then I was like, “I’m not talking about all the things that everyone thinks that this person should talk about. I don’t want to talk about the person behind the business and why you do what you do and all that stuff and so the unbecoming process.” It made me so much more comfortable. I don’t edit my shows at all. If I slip up massively and I fumble over my words all the time but it makes you more real. I find that if I could record that, it would probably resonate more with my audience.
That is why we do our videos. We do every episode live. 99% of our videos have been live and you never know who you’re going to get comments from people on Facebook Live or text you. One of the things that I did that was unique is I do a Monday night webinar every Monday night. I open it up for questions. I had people calling in and I would put them on speaker phone or I had it linked into my boom so it was loud enough. I had that next to the microphone and for an hour and a half, we took questions and answers from people. It was five or six investors that called in. We got them on the phone so everybody could hear. We recorded it. We’re onto something there. We’ve posted it a couple of times before and then everybody’s like, “I don’t want to be in a hot seat, Scott.”
There’s so much more than the audio side when you have our body language, what we say, how we look at somebody, what we’re doing. It adds to many different layers versus just the audio side of things like that. We all have to get outside our own headspace a lot of times as podcasters and realize, “This is more of an audio thing. This is going to go on iTunes and Stitcher, stuff like that.” The extra stuff people see on YouTube or Vimeo or Facebook Live adds so much to people getting to know you and identifying your issues. You can see when you hit something a little bit nail on the head. You see them shift awkwardly or slide away from you a little bit. In this industry, whether it’s real estate or whatever it is, having conversations. Talk with people and being yourself, starting off with yourself and asking questions. About every episode you ask the question where I’m like, “Where does she come up with that?” but I love the question. The questions that need to be asked, I love that.
I don’t know if I’m asking the right questions, but once I got out of my own way I was like, “I’m going to be present with the person and whatever comes up, I’m going an ask and go with it and see where it leads because there’s a reason it popped into my head.”
What’s been probably the most uncomfortable question that you got the most surprising answer from if you can think back to some of your guests?
I start off every episode with like, “Who is the real Scott Carson?” That’s the way that I phrase it and no one’s ready for that. As a podcast or I’m sure you know this too, we know the stall tactics when you repeat the question and then you fill it with all these things while you’re trying to think of an answer. A lot of times people haven’t considered that. In the end, I always ask, “If you had the world’s attention for 30 seconds, what would you say?” That I probably should prime people, whether I should let them prep a little bit. If you listen to the show, you know it’s coming. I always find that that is such a great way to complete the show.
I talk about seasons. I am a big believer in seasons; seasons of life, seasons of business, seasons of purpose because it doesn’t feel finite. Settling into one house forever tells me of things. When I think about my seasons of life, and I’ll ask about that, they always default to business. It’s like, “My first business or my first job,” and it’s like, “That’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking you,” but it’s up to them to go as deep and as far back as they want. If you asked me that, I would’ve been like, “As a kid, here’s who I was,” and then I would talk about that and being an athlete and all this. That’s a huge season of my life and that’s a huge season that a lot of people either don’t want to share or are uncomfortable or don’t have the perfect response, the canned response to. Which I’m always trying to get people out of the canned responses anyway, but it sounds perfect and polished for me to talk about my business and I can tell you what I do articulately and eloquently. If you’re going to ask about something that I’ve struggled with as a child, maybe that’s not as well-formed and well-put together. That’s what I want to know. It makes people uncomfortable.
Everybody goes through seasons. You never see you’re working for a company, you leave that job and you’re on your own thing or you’re going through relationship seasons. I went through a major when I got divorced a decade ago. There’s a period there of going through seasons of rediscovering who Scott Carson the individual was and where I’m at now. That’s not easy for everybody. We deal with many entrepreneurs that they want the season to end of their job. I had a guy who signed up for one of my training programs and he called me that he got laid off from his job. I was like, “Weren’t you thinking about quitting your job?” He was like, “I was but not this soon.” I was like, “Chill and do this.” Come one day he was like, “Nobody responded.” I was like, “It’s the weekend.” I go, “What’s going on?” He was like, “I need to make some money.” I was like, “You were planning on quitting, but did you have any savings or anything?” He was like, “No.” I was like, “Let’s take a step back here. You’re not ready for that season. You’ve got to go punch the clock a little while longer to do that. It’s better that I tell you this now versus you struggle for weeks.” I had to dig that out of him. It’s not the most comfortable question, “Do you have any money? Do you have any savings? Were you ready for this?” You have to ask because it saves you a whole lot of heartache and stress in the long run.
You’ve created a place where he feels comfortable even coming to you with an uncomfortable situation. Many people make the mistake of hiring people that they look up to and are hoping that will get their spirits. Who do you have to turn to? I have several people that I pay and are unpaid mentors but I know the certain people I can go to when I’m like, “Things are hitting the fan massively. I don’t know what I’m doing or I can’t do this or whatever season that is.” That says a lot about who you are to this guy that he feels he can turn to you and confide in you.
You shared you’ve had your one-year podcasting on your own. You share the fact that you’d been a co-host before with another show and you have millions of downloads. You were thinking of leaving and people were always the most positive about you making that decision. You were like, “I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to find the voice of Phoebe.” It’s such a rewarding thing to stick because it’s not the easiest thing. Leaving something that we know or comfortable with a little bit and moving to something we’re not comfortable with but you stuck with it. You had the consistency not to give up on what you’d accomplished and you’ve had a lot of doors opened.
I was doing a lot of coaching but I was also doing a lot of consulting. I was doing a lot of copywriting and behind the scenes business strategy. I was a business strategist and all this. It started about a couple of years ago and I realized I was like, “I am writing for all these other people and I am building all these other businesses around me that my voice had gotten a lot as a performer. I’m a big personality and I wanted to be onstage and singing and dancing and stuff like that.” That got weighed down and I preferred to be behind the scenes. In my personal life, I’m the person hosting parties. I love theme parties. I love surprising people and I was like, “Why is this not translating into my business? What is it that I’m afraid of?” When I looked at that I was like, “I’m afraid that I have nothing to say.” That has been a roller coaster of emotions or a big wave to ride for me of like, “What is it that I’m even saying?”
In the beginning, the things that I experienced from the former podcast were a great hit right off the bat and we were rolling with it. I left right where we almost hit a million downloads. To leave that and to go from a million to zero is probably one of the most humbling experiences that I’ve ever had. To go into my Libsyn and be like, “What have I done?” I was like, “I have to do this for me.” The consistency in my one year, my goal was to complete one year of podcasting. I was like, “Maybe if I hate it that’s fine, but I can change my mind.” I always give myself permission to change and evolve, but I stick to what I say I’m going to stick to.
After 52 weeks I was like, “I love this. This is fun,” and it allows me to connect to people in a way that I never have before. It’s opened a ton of doors for me. It’s allowed me to meet many new people that I wouldn’t have access to. With us, we met at a podcasting conference. People and relationships that I value and I thought, “I can do this. I’ve proven it by myself. I had to do it myself. It’s a blast. I love doing it. It generates money for me. It helps people connect to me, which is the most important thing. Now that I’ve built that, I sprinkle in a little more refined strategy and it’s my perfect business.”
The thing I want to bring up too is and I want people to understand this, everybody out there that’s reading this. You’ve built consistency. You’ve built into what you want to become. A lot of times we will lose our voices whether you’re working for somebody or you have a business. We sometimes get bogged down in the business aspect instead of being who we are. We unbecome who we are, who we start out to be. You have to learn to fight. Sometimes you’ve got to give up a good thing to go and be your own thing. You can be consistent. You can stick with one podcast 52 weeks straight. It’s helped you rediscover your passion. You have to identify who you are and the five As. Many people struggle, many people are doing things they dislike. It’s because I have to and because I’ve got these responsibilities. I know it’s easier. I don’t have a family, it’s easier to give up things and move on with things. If you’ve got a will and you want to get someone and you’re not where you’re at, reach out to Phoebe. Reach out to other people out there because they’ll help you find that path. It may be that we can’t see. It’s covered over with dust and leaves, you need somebody to come to brush it off a little bit and listen to your internal talk when you aren’t listening to your own self.
It’s so funny when people are like, “It’s easy for you to say fill in the blank, you blank.” I have a hard time with that because I said that to many people, I’m like, “It’s easy for you to say. You have a list of 300,000 people on it,” or whatever or you’re married and there’s never going to be the right time to do anything. I hear it’s like having kids. I don’t have children yet but there’s never going to be the right time. In that post that you are alluding to, I wanted to get out and communicate. Nobody told me that it wasn’t always going to be this amazing high and that some weeks are going to feel I’m clutching at straws a little bit and I’m like, “What am I going to talk about?” I have bazillion things to say in real life with my friends, but then I would get in front of a microphone and be like, “Is that important?”
What I started doing is I look at every post, and this might be a little bit morbid, but it’s how I look at everything. When I write a post or I produce a podcast, I think to myself, “What if something happened to me tomorrow? Would I be proud of this post going out?” Every post. That’s why my Instagram is my blog. I write on it almost every day. I love it. If we treat it that constantly in our life or we pass it to that filter, not only would we think twice about what we’re putting out in the world. We’d also think twice about the action that we’re taking in life. That doesn’t have to be building a business. That can be pursuing a relationship.
Do we have a path illuminated before us and what would be on that path? That is the most exciting thing to me. Put out something that you think is valuable. Put out something that you’re proud to put your name on in whatever area of your life that is and then moving forward with that. Now is a new day, tomorrow’s a new day, Friday’s a new day or whatever. If we all could make that shift and I struggle with it too sometimes, but I’m telling you this and whoever’s reading this just as much as I’m telling myself. It’s a constant reminder by keeping myself in check and keeping that conversation. It’s like a balloon in the air. Keeping it in the air allows me to become a more impactful business owner and a more impactful coach. This has been brewing in my head, I’m like, “I’m frustrated with people that feel their life has been dimmed.
You have to take the film off and turn the switch up a little bit. Turn a little bit of energy up.
Turn the volume up on you, whatever that means to you.
What’s the best way for people to reach out and find more about Phoebe?
It’s Phoebe@PhoebeMroczek.com. I’m on Instagram every day. It’s Instagram.com/PhoebeMroczek. Then reaching out to me on Facebook, it’s Facebook.com/PhoebeMroczek1. I’m easily accessible across all social media channels. With a name like mine, you can’t miss me.
I’m a big fan of The Unbecoming. You’ve got to go out and listen to it. Amazing podcast, amazing conversations, Phoebe does a great job. Phoebe, thank you so much for being on the show. We’ve got some great nuggets. Enjoy your move although nobody enjoys moving. You’re basically hop-skipping and then jump a dip across the country. When you’re here, let us know. Let me know when you get in town, we’ll definitely take you out. Have some fun out in the town.
Thank you so much for all that you’re doing in the world. You’re putting out great stuff and helping a lot of people. I appreciate that. I admire that and I’m inspired by this all.
Thanks, Phoebe. You do a great job as well.
Check out Phoebe’s podcast, The Unbecoming with Phoebe Mroczek on iTunes. Subscribe to it. Leave her a five-star review. She does a great job. You will not be disappointed. Taking action is one of the top five A’s. If you do that, we’ll see you all at the top.
- The Unbecoming with Phoebe Mroczek
- Devi Adea – previous podcast
- The Unbecoming with Phoebe Mroczek on iTunes
About Phoebe Mroczek
I always knew I was different. At five years old, I jumped into entrepreneurship with a stationary stand and by age ten, I’d started my first real business: making and selling scrunchies to other girls on the playground. I never wanted to be like everyone else, so I continued to push to the limits in all areas.
I woke up at 18 and found myself living out my childhood dream as a Division 1 soccer player, yet suffering from health problems and having just suddenly lost my dad to brain cancer..
Sh*t got real. Real fast.
I scribbled in my tear-drenched journal: “Do what you want to do NOW. Right now. Don’t wait.”
In that moment, I committed to a life of love, passion and curiosity.
By the age of 30, I’d traveled to more than 55 countries on 6 continents, been cage diving with Great White sharks, camped in the Serengeti and motorbiked across Europe.
And my professional experience has been just as colorful and adventurous:
Over the past ten years, I’ve grown my portfolio with several ventures, including a six-figure online marketing business that I built in twelve months to help established entrepreneurs launch online courses and products, co-hosted a podcast with 900K downloads, hosted events and online retreats, while also launching my own podcast, Unbecoming.
While working with successful industry leaders, I realized that the most successful business owners knew far more about life than just the numbers or strategies. This sparked an obsession to understand how to become happier on a holistic level and question society’s metrics for success.
Now, I now help passionate entrepreneurs redefine what it is to be fully alive, successful and more importantly, their best selves so they can create a life and business they fall in love with everyday.
Ultimately, it is my mission to help women gain the confidence and courage to live an extraordinary life that impacts the world.